tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439941893980599296.post8789176880414301557..comments2023-09-24T07:49:19.084-04:00Comments on Games By Design Has Moved!: What exactly is *in* a hook?Christopher M. Parkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16719365007524426389noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439941893980599296.post-31799940361294026022007-05-16T21:40:00.000-04:002007-05-16T21:40:00.000-04:00Anonymous,Thanks for the comments. When I write gr...Anonymous,<BR/>Thanks for the comments. When I write grey men, I write it as "grey." The more typical American spelling is "gray," but I don't use that as part of the grey men's name.<BR/><BR/>The twisting of the town is not really like an earthquake or anything like that. It's that it's becoming progressively more evil (but that wording sounds a little trite to me). The grey men, who have been fairly predictable for nearly a decade--roaming the countryside and killing anyone they come across, but still--are suddenly appearing in greater numbers, and have much greater strength and aggressiveness than ever before. Aside from that, the plant life is gradually dying and becoming twisted and evil, while new creatures beyond the grey men are also appearing around town. I'll have to find a more brief way to say all that.<BR/><BR/>I'll definitely try to work in more about Darrell's motivations and history, and his relationship with his daughter. I'll have to figure out a way to state that more briefly than I have in past hook iterations, though. And I'll see what I can do about shoring up that last line. Sometimes I do have a tendency to be a little overly wordy, especially in short format like hooks.<BR/><BR/>Again, thanks for all the ideas and comments.Christopher M. Parkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16719365007524426389noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439941893980599296.post-26409797365177400652007-05-16T20:11:00.000-04:002007-05-16T20:11:00.000-04:00Sorry, one more.You need a little more on the char...Sorry, one more.<BR/><BR/>You need a little more on the characters<BR/><BR/>Darrell is blankaty blanked blank about his daughter, who's blankness inspired Ms. X to blank it all.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439941893980599296.post-17612984016738572322007-05-16T19:56:00.000-04:002007-05-16T19:56:00.000-04:00I have a few questions:The men, are they grey or g...I have a few questions:<BR/><BR/>The men, are they grey or gray?<BR/><BR/>You have it as grey and the reviewer of your hook has it as gray. Which one is it and what is the difference?<BR/><BR/>The town starts to excperience an unexpected "techtonic" or whatever twisting of the landscape. Say that, it is fine and more understandable than ut.<BR/><BR/>Darrell, I don't have a problem with the name, English is my very third language, so it has no social or any other connotations in my world.<BR/><BR/>To have any hope ... he must.. is fine on it's own, the way you have it is wordy for me. Again, as not a native speaker it pops out in otherwise smooth writting.<BR/><BR/>And don't forget, what makes you different on the agents table out of everyone else?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com