tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439941893980599296.post1769793187794378660..comments2023-09-24T07:49:19.084-04:00Comments on Games By Design Has Moved!: Alden Ridge Hook, and Fangs, Fur, & Fey ContestChristopher M. Parkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16719365007524426389noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439941893980599296.post-17653369674140459592007-04-12T22:02:00.000-04:002007-04-12T22:02:00.000-04:00Annalisa,Thanks for the comments and feedback! I'm...Annalisa,<BR/>Thanks for the comments and feedback! I'm very glad that you liked the pacing and word choice and degree of information revelation. I'm getting ready to post a new version of the hook, which has all of those elements intact, but which I think has slightly tighter pacing and says all the same things while being shorter and having slightly more descriptive imagery. I'll be very interested to see what you think of that one versus this one, if you care to wager an opinion.<BR/><BR/>Thanks again!<BR/>ChrisChristopher M. Parkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16719365007524426389noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439941893980599296.post-17537970773770809762007-04-12T18:31:00.000-04:002007-04-12T18:31:00.000-04:00I think this hook is very strong! I haven't studi...I think this hook is very strong! I haven't studied hooks as extensively as you have, but I can say how it affects me as a reader. Generally speaking, it gives me a very clear picture of what the book is about without loading me down with an excess of plot points. <BR/><BR/>At the same time, I like how it tells where the characters are at the beginning (the situation is not yet dire) and then what they have to do (discover what's going on with the grey men and how they essentially destroyed the modern world--and, we assume, set the world aright again). We know what kind of quest/goal/conflict the characters will have and what kind of story it is.<BR/><BR/>As for how it's written, I think this hook moves at just the right pace. It's brisk, without giving you the feeling of whiplash. The word choices are all great, except I might quibble with "constancy" (it just doesn't feel right to me). <BR/><BR/>Sorry I don't have more constructive criticism, but I really think you nailed it.Annalisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16063622062103016823noreply@blogger.com